"It's Just a Flesh Wound!"

Ok, so is a certain presidential candidate starting to remind us of someone??

Praise the Lord, Pennsylvania is dead!

Guns are for winners!

Hillary's latest tactic to attract votes is by trying to appeal to the gun totin' liberals (wait, there are such people?)...

In a campaign stop on Saturday, Clinton recalled the good 'ol days when daddy used to take her out hunting:

"You know, my dad took me out behind the cottage that my grandfather built on a little lake called Lake Winola outside of Scranton and taught be how to shoot when I was a little girl."

She later said she has hunted ducks. No word from the duck lobbyists on how this will impact her standing with the left leaning water-fowl.

In this appeal, Hillary was employing a tactic that I have used frequently in my dating life - look like a outdoorsy bad ass that "daddy dun taught right" and you'll attract all the dudes. You may laugh, but I snagged my husband that way. So, maybe Hillary's looking for a replacement for Bill? Or maybe she actually thinks that she can still win this thing. Or maybe she's auditioning for a role as Annie Oakley in a new Broadway play since her political career is pretty much over.

Quote of the Day

"If Hillary is like Rocky, as she keeps saying, then it must be because they both suffered brain damage after going too many rounds. "

The Beautiful People

This picture of the future fashionista President and her hipster First Gentleman is just stunning. Note the confident looks clearly saying, "success is my destiny" ... the rapid stride through midtown Manhattan, possibly ... as well as the fact that she appears to be Tom Cruise dressed up in drag ... I expect her at any moment to strip down to her skivvies and start dance/lipsynching to some old-time Bob Seger tunes ... flip that collar up and let it all go, baby!

A hiatus averted

I've been away for almost a month now, and feel refreshed and renewed and ready to dive head-first back into that political beast that so enraptures us all. So, first and foremost, special thanks to Lar for keeping this train afloat. Can you keep trains afloat? She must have a barge. Or an inflatable train.

As I jump back into the political season of our youth, I find nothing to be very excited about. I guess the good news is that things have again heated up in Iraq - people are dying, families are uprooted, oil profits are disappearing - so, this should put us in a good position for more healthy debate this spring, summer, & fall about the Middle East and our collective role there. That should be fun. W has quite a legacy awaiting him.

As Johnny sits back and tosses the occassional gallon of lighter fluid into the fire, chuckling all the way, the Democratic Primary season continues in seeming perpetuity. With Barack holding a commanding lead in the pledged delegate count, Hillary's best idea is for him to concede the race and become her Veep candidate. Are these the kinds of brilliant ideas that she's going to employ once in office? She has a staunch, loyal following that keeps her ego fed and her aspirations in tact, so we should have another few good months at watching the two spar before he finally secures the nomination in Denver.

Barack, for his part, has found it in him to stand by his man. Well, mostly. Tammy Wynette would be proud, anyway. But, as the country songstress well found out, sometimes you just have to let your legendary alcoholic husband go burden somebody else for awhile. Such is the case for Barack, as he now must find a way to love his man, and yet distance himself as far as possible from the drunken rages that have erupted. Think Al Gore in the wake of Monica. No, on second thought, that didn't work out very well for Al.

In the good news department, the United States officially suffered its 2,100th military death at the hands of weapons that we sold to the Iraqis back in the mid-80s. We're not sure what the overall allied death at the hands of weapons that we sold to the Iraqis back in the mid-80s total is, as U.S. contractor and non-U.S. troops aren't particularly relevant. Meanwhile, if things heat up in Iran a little more, we could be setting out on a new adventure in counting U.S. deaths at the hands of weapons that we sold to the Iranians back in the early-to-mid-80s. Fingers crossed, Johnny. This one could be yours, too.

I don't feel very well, and am therefore a little cynical today. Perhaps it's because, even in the midst of their encompassing madness, the words of Obama's man contain more truth than we might ever want to admit. We're prostitutes, we're mercinaries, and we're ultimately driven by an ego that would make Texas blush. I'm not saying that we're any worse than any of the other super powers that the world has known, but it sure is interesting to observe. I'm going to go back to eating my Hot Pocket, in the abject fear that it might end up coming back up in 20 minutes. Now, to figure out if this nausea is induced by biological, chemical, or political agents.