Mitt Romney suspends campaign

Upon receiving word that his campaign was arrested early Thursday morning on misdemeanor possession of alcohol by a minor, Mitt has suspended his campaign indefinitely. In a statement released earlier today, Mitt says that he has "already had a long talk about the incident with my campaign, and believe that my campaign is remorseful and will take the needed steps to reinstate itself into the Mitt team. I also believe that there are additional details at play that will come out eventually, so please don't read too much into the events of this morning until everything comes to light."

There is widespread Internet blogosphere speculation on the Googles that Johnny's campaign actually purchased the alcohol using a fake ID, and might have planted it in Mitt campaign's dorm room. Attempts to contact Johnny's campaign have been unsuccessful.

Mike's campaign, however, had this to say during an interview with Wolf Blitzer this morning: "This just further emphasizes the need for a return to true conservative values in America. Here we have two prominent national campaigns acting without regard for their candidates, teammates, and the laws of this country. I plan to send several text messages to my young, male page this afternoon, assuring him that Mike's campaign still believes in returning moral values to the youth of America, and to see if he wants to meet at my pad over in Georgetown tonight for some martinis and ............"