The Obama campaign on Wednesday released evidence that presidential hopeful Senator Hillary Clinton may be 'shooting up' - and has asked Congress to look into the matter. It has long been rumored that steroids and human growth hormone (HGH) are rampant on the physical, often exhausting political campaign scene. Candidates have consistently denied any knowledge of drug abuse, with one recent president from Texas even going so far as to say "I have never taken steroids or HGH. No matter what we discuss here today, I am never going to have my name restored." That last point seems to be off topic, but we suspect his fervent denial of illegal drug use is just a result of his misremembering the past.
The Obama campaign's evidence seems to surround a recent interview with Hillary, in which she alluded to using several over-the-counter medications. These medications, which include vitamins, tea, and Purell, have been linked to steroid use, and critics claim that they are used as a smokescreen to cover up what's really going on. Tea, in particular, is used to temper dry mouth, malaise, and extreme aggression, which are among the more common immediate side-effects of HGH use, and are all common among highly-charged, stressful political campaigns where candidates are hopped up on growth hormone.
The Obama campaign's evidence seems to surround a recent interview with Hillary, in which she alluded to using several over-the-counter medications. These medications, which include vitamins, tea, and Purell, have been linked to steroid use, and critics claim that they are used as a smokescreen to cover up what's really going on. Tea, in particular, is used to temper dry mouth, malaise, and extreme aggression, which are among the more common immediate side-effects of HGH use, and are all common among highly-charged, stressful political campaigns where candidates are hopped up on growth hormone. Further evidence comes from a recent admission by Bill Clinton during an interview with Bill Moyers that he has observed Hillary's "booty getting more and more delish, lately." A prominent side-effect of steroids, of course, is the enlargement of prominent physical features such as the skull, the hands, the feet, and the ass. It's never been a secret that Bill is a "butt man," or that he firmly believes that bigger equals better, brotha. One could easily speculate that Bill's increased excitement on the campaign trail in recent months is attributable to the side-effects of Hillary's near-constant topical steroid use.
When asked if he has ever taken steroids or HGH, Barack replied coyly, "Are you kidding me? Do you even know what the side effects are for that stuff? It would put me on a level playing field with that little white Republican dude, and that ain't happenin'."
A crazed Hillary sits down with Katie Couric, on CBS's The Morning Show:
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