On the heels of Hillary's announcement that she would like to raise $3 million in three days (I suppose to help pay herself back for the $5 million loan she gave herself), Barack's campaign announced this morning that it has raised $7.2 million since the polls closed on Tuesday night. Hillary's campaign has asked Barack's campaign for weekly debates, and would you please pick up the tab for the green room buffet. Barack's campaign would gladly pick up the buffet tab, but hemmed and hawed on the debate issue, as he staunchly believes that charity should be reserved for those struggling in the bottom 98% of the income bracket.
When asked to comment, Bill Gates indicated that he will make matching donations to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation for all of the money that Barack collects. He went on to state that "Barack is a fund-raising machine. He is on pace to obliterate the campaign contribution records set by George Bush, and shortly thereafter will be able to buy and sell God. But, I have several orders of magnitude more money lying around in my underwear drawer that I can spare for a good cause, so I thought this was a good opportunity to distribute more of my freakish wealth."
Campaign finance reform mouthpiece John McCain stated that "it's unthinkable that someone could raise tens of millions of dollars, only to spend those dollars on an election. We've truly come to a place in this country where elections can be bought, and this scares me. If and when I buy the Presidency this November, I will make further campaign finance reform my first priority. And, you can help put me there by making a personal donation of up to $2,000 immediately. If we can raise an additional $40 million by March, this will put us above the $80 million mark and should go a long way in ensuring that we can compete with the Obama campaign and the $780 million budget that they're expected to have at that point. I thank my supporters for their deep pockets, and really wish I had rich & spendy Hollywood types supporting me, too."
When asked to comment, Bill Gates indicated that he will make matching donations to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation for all of the money that Barack collects. He went on to state that "Barack is a fund-raising machine. He is on pace to obliterate the campaign contribution records set by George Bush, and shortly thereafter will be able to buy and sell God. But, I have several orders of magnitude more money lying around in my underwear drawer that I can spare for a good cause, so I thought this was a good opportunity to distribute more of my freakish wealth."
Campaign finance reform mouthpiece John McCain stated that "it's unthinkable that someone could raise tens of millions of dollars, only to spend those dollars on an election. We've truly come to a place in this country where elections can be bought, and this scares me. If and when I buy the Presidency this November, I will make further campaign finance reform my first priority. And, you can help put me there by making a personal donation of up to $2,000 immediately. If we can raise an additional $40 million by March, this will put us above the $80 million mark and should go a long way in ensuring that we can compete with the Obama campaign and the $780 million budget that they're expected to have at that point. I thank my supporters for their deep pockets, and really wish I had rich & spendy Hollywood types supporting me, too."
Mitt was overheard on the phone with Johnny's campaign office, asking if he could have a bond to cover the bail he paid to free his own campaign this morning.
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