Wisconsin Democrats 'hopeful'

Despite polls indicating that Wisconsin Democrats were split between preferences for 'blind hope' and 'past glories', primary day in Dairyland proved to be hope-tastic. This is the ninth straight victory for the 'hope' faction, having taken all of the momentum from the 'past glories' team ever since Super Tuesday. The 'hope' campaign said Tuesday night that it "sees a nation that wants hope, needs hope. We are the ones who can deliver that hope. What we have seen in this nation is that hope never dies. Even when Stefano DiMera brainwashes her, takes away her children, separates her from her one true love, or even kills her, Hope always comes back stronger than ever. If a little gaunt-looking."

Bill Clinton, spokesperson for 'done stuff', reacted by claiming that "Hope is so sixteen years ago. In fact, I was born in Hope, Arkansas, as you may already know. Even so, I haven't visited since that PR photo op that we had there during the 92 campaign. I don't imagine the economy is doing too hot. I'm not even sure I would recognize Hope if I saw it. But, I do recognize my wife and her past glories - and let me tell you, she was one attractive, intelligent, amazing woman. There comes a time in any political dynasty where you have to transition from selling hope to condemning hope, in order to get elected. Please join us, as I do not want to go home to that woman if she loses."